today, i chanced upon the oppertunity to audition for a VIP CWS concert in UPLB.
i thought, since i promised myself that i would NEVER miss a chance that comes my way again, i decided, "cge, try out ako, pang trips lang!".
i'm the one who mousely quit CE and failed at Jocks tryouts, besides not accepting some very good roles in highschool and missing chances like this all my life, i said i'd give it a run.
now, you have to realize this, i'm not one to be nervous before the performance. what's bad is that whan i begin to perform is when i get nervous! neat huh?
it didn't pass through my mind to audition for the front up singer, "pang-backup lang ako" so that is what i auditioned for.
i didn't think that many people would audition, but i was wrong, they were intimidatingly many- with good voices too! i had every gut to go and backout - thanks to Fior i didn't (thanks so much for being there for me Fiorie!:) so, ok i stayed and auditioned with "Part of Your World" (Little Mermaid) as my audition piece - i used the same audition piece i used when i applied for CE. i sayed a while and listened to the rest, but when it was over and i got bored i went back to the hall, "hiningi naman yung # eh. text me or not i dont care. napagtripan lang naman."
i lied. i do care even just a little bit. i have this stupid spark in me in wishful thinking mode.
now, whats the point? MORAL SUPPORT
whoever said moral support didn't matter was so wrong - i mean, i was wrong. i used to think moral support was a small and insignificant part of everything, just apart of the fun of it. then i realize, the reason why i ask for someone to go with me on times like these is because of that moral suport concept. i badly need it. for a person with an unknown and indererminable gauge of self esteem (melting down on low) i think it really helps.
now really, getting the part is besides the point.
Sunday, January 18, 2004
in absentia
last week i was absent in 2 subjects...big deal huh?
unfortunately, for my perfectionist obsessive compulsive behavior, i feel like
i'm still in my high school warp. i still value that single period for some reason.
but my absenting has put that to the test.
we all hate going to school! its a common student phenomena - come on, if
there is someone who exists on this world who wouldn't like classes to get cancelled
even for one day is alien!
our time
since kids we'd rather play than go to school, the reason why we enjoyed breaks the best. we need our time, we think, the time that is wasted on hours of listening to boring teachers' lecture. instead we could have watched our favorite TV show or finished that video game. when we get older its...oh! that extra time of sleep! or chit chat on the phone, including enjoyed recreation like watching movies etc. now, when lots of workload comes in that's when you get higher and higher in the grade line, your time is used for catching up on those researches, and writing those reports, besides sticking up that project on illustration board. we wished
we had more time on our hands...
who invented marks for them anyway?
in elementary, it was ok to miss class, coz the lessons are slow paced anyway and all you got was an absent tick on record. you just had to call yourclassmates to ask the assignment or copy their notes. (which isn’t as much reliablematerial as i had expected - i hated doing that, so i guess that's why i don’t like being absent -catching up especially on unreliable material - thank god for reliable friends and classmates.)
in high school they invented the absent slip, which usually comes with a late slip coz you'll forever be in line with the other people who were absent as well or the delinquently late people. wow! they sure know how to motivate a person to not come late or avoid being absent - look what it did to me! i hate lining up. and there's the catching up part again gone worse.
now, in college, well in UP for that matter, you're allowed a maximum number of absences so it doesn't really matter. the profs don't care as much as the students. problem is, the really hard catching up part!!!! unlike high school where you're friends are your classmates, all in the same bunch, here its not. good luck catching up for me! but then again, i see my absences now as currency you need to save up on, just in case you really need the time for major cramming of projects or an hour of precious sleep,to getting your license or teeth checked.
i'm not reasoning out...lets put it this way...i'm giving myself a better
perspective. :)
unfortunately, for my perfectionist obsessive compulsive behavior, i feel like
i'm still in my high school warp. i still value that single period for some reason.
but my absenting has put that to the test.
we all hate going to school! its a common student phenomena - come on, if
there is someone who exists on this world who wouldn't like classes to get cancelled
even for one day is alien!
our time
since kids we'd rather play than go to school, the reason why we enjoyed breaks the best. we need our time, we think, the time that is wasted on hours of listening to boring teachers' lecture. instead we could have watched our favorite TV show or finished that video game. when we get older its...oh! that extra time of sleep! or chit chat on the phone, including enjoyed recreation like watching movies etc. now, when lots of workload comes in that's when you get higher and higher in the grade line, your time is used for catching up on those researches, and writing those reports, besides sticking up that project on illustration board. we wished
we had more time on our hands...
who invented marks for them anyway?
in elementary, it was ok to miss class, coz the lessons are slow paced anyway and all you got was an absent tick on record. you just had to call yourclassmates to ask the assignment or copy their notes. (which isn’t as much reliablematerial as i had expected - i hated doing that, so i guess that's why i don’t like being absent -catching up especially on unreliable material - thank god for reliable friends and classmates.)
in high school they invented the absent slip, which usually comes with a late slip coz you'll forever be in line with the other people who were absent as well or the delinquently late people. wow! they sure know how to motivate a person to not come late or avoid being absent - look what it did to me! i hate lining up. and there's the catching up part again gone worse.
now, in college, well in UP for that matter, you're allowed a maximum number of absences so it doesn't really matter. the profs don't care as much as the students. problem is, the really hard catching up part!!!! unlike high school where you're friends are your classmates, all in the same bunch, here its not. good luck catching up for me! but then again, i see my absences now as currency you need to save up on, just in case you really need the time for major cramming of projects or an hour of precious sleep,to getting your license or teeth checked.
i'm not reasoning out...lets put it this way...i'm giving myself a better
perspective. :)
commercialism and christmas
this one's a delayed thought but i'm going to write it anyway.
this thought came to me last christmas, so be forewarned if you're over the jingle bells. but read it anyway coz not only christmas is involved.
it's really not me to count gifts, but in truth don't we all appreciate it when we receive nice gifts from the many people who love us? when it comes down to it all, they say it's the thought that counts. but i've sometimes come to realize, how may counts i got...yes, it does seem so Scrooge of me to be counting like this and my 'christmas spirit' is slowly pulling Santa's sleigh down. it just makes me wonder sometimes.
not only during christmas, but also on birthdays or other occasions where a little text greeting would be counted one equal to that new laptop.
i've noticed a decrease in the numbers as years pass by. is it that we get older? or do the people who appreciate us get fewer? its sad to think, i think of it that way...
i've also noticed that christmas has come to mean big time commercialism for some - a lot actually. materialism as well. (does this include me?) it seem that those with the bigger and brighter christmas tree and lights, and money to spend are already giddy before december. oh and let's not forget all the profit companies make!
think of it this way: the very pinoy long christmas tradition - christmas starts out as early as september in this country, ok at least after all saints and souls day in november - is pure crap and the reason behind that season is businesses wanting to garb on your money as early as possible.
is it me? or is my christmas spirit depreciating every year. i remember christmas used to be so great and fun, but now i'm under a downfall. i'm too lazy to put up the christmas tree, besides the fact that i hardly have anything to put under it - i guess its really like that now that i'm in college. its the superficial hi hello classmates that become the people you call friends. the number of christmas parties i go to decreased by 2...that makes it a total of how many now? none? i don't enjoy midnight meals like i used to. i usually get sick - like last christmas eve. i don't get gifts from Santa anymore...(sigh) Santa...another commercial gig (but there is a story to that guy- a real one).
but come to think of it, i guess christmas was ok and is going to be ok for the years to come. besides its all the commercialism and materialism, which make christmas as festive as it is. i'm not the only one with a hole in my pocket. counting gifts is nothing to the joy i get when my family opens the gifts i've given them, whether there was exchange or not. maybe i'll try to be more giddy myself next time, you never know, it just might be my laziness that is getting to me.
merry christmas for this year, i guess! and say i'm the first one who greeted you!
this thought came to me last christmas, so be forewarned if you're over the jingle bells. but read it anyway coz not only christmas is involved.
it's really not me to count gifts, but in truth don't we all appreciate it when we receive nice gifts from the many people who love us? when it comes down to it all, they say it's the thought that counts. but i've sometimes come to realize, how may counts i got...yes, it does seem so Scrooge of me to be counting like this and my 'christmas spirit' is slowly pulling Santa's sleigh down. it just makes me wonder sometimes.
not only during christmas, but also on birthdays or other occasions where a little text greeting would be counted one equal to that new laptop.
i've noticed a decrease in the numbers as years pass by. is it that we get older? or do the people who appreciate us get fewer? its sad to think, i think of it that way...
i've also noticed that christmas has come to mean big time commercialism for some - a lot actually. materialism as well. (does this include me?) it seem that those with the bigger and brighter christmas tree and lights, and money to spend are already giddy before december. oh and let's not forget all the profit companies make!
think of it this way: the very pinoy long christmas tradition - christmas starts out as early as september in this country, ok at least after all saints and souls day in november - is pure crap and the reason behind that season is businesses wanting to garb on your money as early as possible.
is it me? or is my christmas spirit depreciating every year. i remember christmas used to be so great and fun, but now i'm under a downfall. i'm too lazy to put up the christmas tree, besides the fact that i hardly have anything to put under it - i guess its really like that now that i'm in college. its the superficial hi hello classmates that become the people you call friends. the number of christmas parties i go to decreased by 2...that makes it a total of how many now? none? i don't enjoy midnight meals like i used to. i usually get sick - like last christmas eve. i don't get gifts from Santa anymore...(sigh) Santa...another commercial gig (but there is a story to that guy- a real one).
but come to think of it, i guess christmas was ok and is going to be ok for the years to come. besides its all the commercialism and materialism, which make christmas as festive as it is. i'm not the only one with a hole in my pocket. counting gifts is nothing to the joy i get when my family opens the gifts i've given them, whether there was exchange or not. maybe i'll try to be more giddy myself next time, you never know, it just might be my laziness that is getting to me.
merry christmas for this year, i guess! and say i'm the first one who greeted you!
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