on confirmation and cynicism

i've lived under the assumptions of the roman catholic religion since i was baptized into it some 20 years ago, or so it should be. but here i am 21, have not yet been confirmed, and pretty much boarderlining between non-practicing and heretic by the terms.

children should be confirmed usually when they're about 11 or twelve. but during my grade school days, unlike when we recieved holy communion, it was pulled out and cancelled for our batch onwards - i think it was because the kids should be confirmed at thier own parishes or something. during highschool, they gave a one time big time ceremony for all those who weren't confirmed yet. and i dont exactly remember why i wasn't able to sign up. so here i am, seemingly shy to get slaped in the face by some bishop at over 20 years old.

what's about confirmation anyway? its a confirmation of your beliefs in jesus christ, the lord and his catholic church. remember the apostles creed? i hardly do, and don't exactly pledge to all of the last part either. simply put, i'm not exactly ready to confirm my faith in the catholic church. and if it were up to me, i'd leave it there.

but from what i know, i need to be "confirmed" to get married, and i guess pretty much some other ceremonies of the church. but then again, i have no intentions of getting married, especially under the catholic church.

i dont even want to get married in the philippines because the law doesn't provide for divorce - only a long and die hard process for an annulment. i do get the "whatever the has been joined together in the lord's name shall and should not be separated", but the thing is *snap snap* it doesn't happen most of the time, and a way out is the answer instead of the kind of suffering that leads you to numbness, crasy-ness, a shriveled body, or even death.

how many women have been cheated on or battered by the shit of husbands they have? why the hell is our society so screwed up in favor of the male species and their pleasures, usually (acknowedgenig the fact that there are also some bitches who cheat, but then again that's more of a taboo where men are the more accepted cheats), or accomodating the fact that women (and yes, men) prostitute themselves if not cheaply, expensively, because of love or poverty? damn't! why do so many people have to get hurt? then, why would it be a sin to end a marriage if all the other sins are working there anyway?

you see? i'm really not up for confirmaiton.

on confirmation and cynicism

i've lived under the assumptions of the roman catholic religion since i was baptized into it some 20 years ago, or so it should be. but here i am 21, have not yet been confirmed, and pretty much boarderlining between non-practicing and heretic by the terms.

children should be confirmed usually when they're about 11 or twelve. but during my grade school days, unlike when we recieved holy communion, it was pulled out and cancelled for our batch onwards - i think it was because the kids should be confirmed at thier own parishes or something. during highschool, they gave a one time big time ceremony for all those who weren't confirmed yet. and i dont exactly remember why i wasn't able to sign up. so here i am, seemingly shy to get slaped in the face by some bishop at over 20 years old.

what's about confirmation anyway? its a confirmation of your beliefs in jesus christ, the lord and his catholic church. remember the apostles creed? i hardly do, and don't exactly pledge to all of the last part either. simply put, i'm not exactly ready to confirm my faith in the catholic church. and if it were up to me, i'd leave it there.

but from what i know, i need to be "confirmed" to get married, and i guess pretty much some other ceremonies of the church. but then again, i have no intentions of getting married, especially under the catholic church.

i dont even want to get married in the philippines because the law doesn't provide for divorce - only a long and die hard process for an annulment. i do get the "whatever the has been joined together in the lord's name shall and should not be separated", but the thing is *snap snap* it doesn't happen most of the time, and a way out is the answer instead of the kind of suffering that leads you to numbness, crasy-ness, a shriveled body, or even death.

how many women have been cheated on or battered by the shit of husbands they have? why the hell is our society so screwed up in favor of the male species and their pleasures, usually (acknowedgenig the fact that there are also some bitches who cheat, but then again that's more of a taboo where men are the more accepted cheats), or accomodating the fact that women (and yes, men) prostitute themselves if not cheaply, expensively, because of love or poverty? damn't! why do so many people have to get hurt? then, why would it be a sin to end a marriage if all the other sins are working there anyway?

you see? i'm really not up for confirmaiton.

i dont give out testimonials because i'm lazy to write them

very simply put and very much my final statement on friendster testimonials aka comments, as updated.

what is it about a testimonal that so many people want one? testimonials are simply someone's oppinion on something, in this context that would be you (and me). the credibility part is something that's relative, but for advertizing it would be the most important thing aside from saying that the product is all well.

but soliciting for testimonials about yourself from the people that add you up as friends, is much like a bad politician soliciting good publicity from the media. i'm not saying you're all bad eggs, just simply why crave for the recognition?

having someone else say good things about you to someone else is a good gesture done spontaneously and unselfishly (most of the time). and it feels good to know that people, or at least someone, thinks good of you. but these are things you dont solicit, ask recognition for, to spread all over friendster. and i'd personally tell that person face to face.

yes, i am pretty much ticked off by people who ask me for a "testi". first point: can't you read?! my profile explicitly says i don't give out testimonials. and since i sarted on friendster, i haven't let one pass me. i dont even know what the screen looks like when you write someone a testimonial. and second: i am lazy to write them...

what's with the reciprocity? you write for me and i write one for you? whats the point? if you want to say something good about me, fine, be my guest. i only have less than 30, and i've been on firendster since 2003. and the first few ones must have probably expected one from me as well. but to ask for one in return is no good deed anymore when returned. why can't people say good things about you and expect nothing in return?

i dont give out testimonials because i'm lazy to write them

very simply put and very much my final statement on friendster testimonials aka comments, as updated.

what is it about a testimonal that so many people want one? testimonials are simply someone's oppinion on something, in this context that would be you (and me). the credibility part is something that's relative, but for advertizing it would be the most important thing aside from saying that the product is all well.

but soliciting for testimonials about yourself from the people that add you up as friends, is much like a bad politician soliciting good publicity from the media. i'm not saying you're all bad eggs, just simply why crave for the recognition?

having someone else say good things about you to someone else is a good gesture done spontaneously and unselfishly (most of the time). and it feels good to know that people, or at least someone, thinks good of you. but these are things you dont solicit, ask recognition for, to spread all over friendster. and i'd personally tell that person face to face.

yes, i am pretty much ticked off by people who ask me for a "testi". first point: can't you read?! my profile explicitly says i don't give out testimonials. and since i sarted on friendster, i haven't let one pass me. i dont even know what the screen looks like when you write someone a testimonial. and second: i am lazy to write them...

what's with the reciprocity? you write for me and i write one for you? whats the point? if you want to say something good about me, fine, be my guest. i only have less than 30, and i've been on firendster since 2003. and the first few ones must have probably expected one from me as well. but to ask for one in return is no good deed anymore when returned. why can't people say good things about you and expect nothing in return?

things to think about...

...or at least some things that have crossed my mind enough for me to write them down. leftovers maybe, trivial, but thought provoking.

why do cowboys ride on horses? and why call them cow-boys (and gals) anyway? i'd pay a buck to see them actually ride a cow and get somewhere, but thing is, they don't. why not call them "horseboys"? i guess its probably because they tend to cows... logical yes. next topic.

i like the Chippy TV ads. they're just so hillarious! *laughs* those are the kind of commercials that are not bothering to see every other commercial break.

speaking about Chippy, why is it that this particular Jack and Jill variant is what the older people - my mom - equate with junk food. given that barbeque flavored corn chips shaped into pinky-thin flat rectangles is in fact junk food, Chippy has become the other name for everything else. on my way to the grocery, "o, bili ka din ng mga chippy ha." Jack and Jill must be so proud.

okay, ok, oki, awki, K, okeish, gosh! in how many ways can you spell or tell someone that you're alright? this is no permutation question. i have noticed that depending on who i'm talking to, i get a different version of alright everytime, if not most of the time. anything else i'm missing?

damn't, what is with faded jeans?! eversince they became a fad all of a sudden about a few years ago, they've been all over the place.

gone are the days when i could easily walk into a store and buy a pair of jeans for myself at presto. but then again i fail to mention a large hip and waist size, with a little needed height. nonetheless, jeans shopping for me has never been the same. when i shop for a pair of jeans, its pretty simple: preferably not stretch, long pants, boot leg to flared (its a big feet thing), usually not to low cut ('coz low cut jeans are sized for the waist, but don't exctly reach it), and not faded. ok, not so simple after all.

but then again, why in the world would people find worn out, stone-, pebble-, or whatever magic stone-washed jeans better than jeans that you'll wear out anyway? is it simply an excuse so new jeans and old jeans look the same and everyone spends less?

i get the fad thing, but after six or so years and i still walk into stores with all the maong pants merchandise sprouting marks of clorox and dye on the thighs, knees, and behind. tsk!

now, embroidered jeans is something else entirely as much as beaded ones...

free samples! don't be caught dead sampling freebies at the grocery! *laughs out loud* *points to slef* yes! i am guilty of indulging in these small wonders found in small plastic cups if not on the end of a toothpick. what's a boring day at the grocery without some new variant of some seasoning, frozen meat, or flavor of a drink, new added ingredients to a chocolate bar... the list goes on.

but i was warned that its pretty much "un-cool" to be caught "free-sampling". why i ask? i really have no idea, but maybe it has something to do with the you-look-like-a-beggar thing some bitch posh people have their minds set to.

to that, i say neigh. now that's alot of crap. free sampling happens to be a very effective strategy for marketing and sales as much as it simple brings people over to the exhibit. i like taking in free samples, there's no harm in that. after all, the best things in life are free, or so they say.

a life without math. the last time i had a math class was in first year college, that's 2003 minus my computer science and statistics classes. since then, math has pretty much been out of my life. which i'm finding isnt pretty good at all.

math and i aren't exactly friends, i did get through it though - meaning i passed math in school well enough - but still math and i dont exacly have a future going. i did like geometry though, algebra was fine when sir itoralba came into the picture, and trigonomery... well... i hardly remember what a cosine is. now calculus was something i was never able to touch.

since the last time i needed to think about numbers, i've put math aside and left all the computing to everyone else if not a calculator. thing is, i've noticed i've become an obsolete counting machine myself, and find myself needing more fingers than toes. now really, that is not good.

resolution: compute more... and spend less... *laughs*

same shirt day. why is it that people find it so awkward to be wearing the same shirt? (does not include org shirts and the like, or planned circumstances) even i'd rather hide than to be caught dead in the same area with a person wearing the same shirt i'm wearing sometimes. what is with that? but then again, i'd laugh it off sometimes and find it amusing.

groupwork. i hate groupwork. i guess i mostly and always have. its something i've been ranting about since god knows when gradeshool until i graduated. i guess its probably because i get pissed of when i usually end up doing the tail or foot of the work: summing up crappy researches without sources and reports without much said. whoever said groupwork brings out skills like teamwork didn't hit it exactly right. however, it does bring out the need to tolerate and pass of what shit other people give you. tsk.. or maybe its because i'm too damn perfectionist. we all know that shouldn't be the case, but its not my fault i always want things done right.

tsk. then there's the obstacle that the group can't get together somewhere they can meet well... (see next)


conducive meeting places. these are surely places with enough light, a table to write, and enough seating for everyone to see, and not so loud so you could hear what's going on. certainly not at those restaurants with low lighting, or those rooms without tables. logistics people, or at least people who call meetings should rememeber this. so far, the conducive meeting place i've been around campus is Mcdo 2nd floor. any other suggestions?


writing and talking at the same time? why is it so difficult to write and talk at the same time? it's either you write, or talk, but to put them together is getting the less of one.


ah. tapos na ang usapan. why is it that when you're in a conversation with someone through SMS, and either of you reply with "ah" or "oh" it seems the conversation ends there. unless of course something else follows.


why is siomai cheap? at LB you can get 3 pieces of siomai at Papu's for P12, if you want rice with it, that'll be P16. at Lowata Loka at LB Square that meal would be P16 as well. at Tita's along Raymundo you'd get the 3 pieces of siomai with rice for P11, only the siomai is fried.

so, what makes siomai so cheap? maybe ground beef, egg, some extender, and seasonings wrapped in molo wrapper is pretty less costing after all. but then again, it takes more than money to come up with a great recipie that sells like hotcakes.


a drop by the dorm on a bad day, takes the pain away. that's exactly how i used to feel back then when we were all still students and most of the dormates whom i had lived with for a year were still here...

god, i miss those days, those opportunites. even if it wasn't such a bad day, being there always made me feel happy, and at home, never an awkward moment with friends you know that care, and no place has made me feel like that.


cheating gives you no sense of accomplishment. 'nuf said.


i miss you on vacation. when you're on vacation, the kind of vacation that spells "getaway" or "fun in the sun", or "field trip" for just a few days, do you honestly miss the people you leave behind? i don't think so.

i remember some... last year as i was packing for a school field trip, and before i left i told my mom that i would miss her. she hugged me, smiled and said in taglish, "no you won't, you'll be busy having fun." that pretty much summed it up. she was absolutely right.

although i would think of her sometimes, but yes, i was pretty much preoccupied. the thing is, she didn't blame me. and it felt good to know that she wanted me to have a good time.

so, when you're on vacation, its the people you leave that miss you...

translation: dami damihan mo na yang pasalubong pasalubong!! *laughs*


exercises in futility. when you say something is futile, it's simply a waste of your time. the classic example for me is getting emotional over something so trivial or important but eventually solution-able.

yes, i know i should do away with that. but there are times when i just can't help it, and i feel myself fume up and the high pressure shoots up rocket fast. the bad thing is that sometimes it feels good. it feels good to let it out, to argue that you're right, especially when you've felt the feelings for quite a time. but when the tide has passed, i realize that i've only caused myself pain and anger and cost myself tears and my steady and strong reputation.

i was told once to never let anyone see me sweat, my dad obviously, which is right sometimes, and very effective in cutting the costs over exercises in futility. although in a bottle pop way, its also bad to keep it all in to let it burst sometime out of the blue giving no one a clue (hey, that rhymes).

but i'm the sucker who usually gives in and shoots up if not bursts into tears. i hate that.


super cellphone. i'm not refering to the latest technology in mobile phones, or the 3G that has only recently been enabled by the brats of telcos un der an unaccessable price for a critical mass. i'm talking about when your mobile phone becomes your savior in the most important moments.

mostly times when you're bored, look pathetic enough waiting, or especially at times when you want to avoid someone. all you need to do is bring out your mobile phone, and presto! you look like you're answering a message or busy with a game, and for all people care, you're busy enough to mind the stares. pretty neat, huh? but this is no TV ad.

the cellular phone has allowed us to connect to people, but ironically it also provides us with the defensive mechanisms much like a wall to avoid communicaiton as well.

things to think about...

...or at least some things that have crossed my mind enough for me to write them down. leftovers maybe, trivial, but thought provoking.

why do cowboys ride on horses? and why call them cow-boys (and gals) anyway? i'd pay a buck to see them actually ride a cow and get somewhere, but thing is, they don't. why not call them "horseboys"? i guess its probably because they tend to cows... logical yes. next topic.

i like the Chippy TV ads. they're just so hillarious! *laughs* those are the kind of commercials that are not bothering to see every other commercial break.

speaking about Chippy, why is it that this particular Jack and Jill variant is what the older people - my mom - equate with junk food. given that barbeque flavored corn chips shaped into pinky-thin flat rectangles is in fact junk food, Chippy has become the other name for everything else. on my way to the grocery, "o, bili ka din ng mga chippy ha." Jack and Jill must be so proud.

okay, ok, oki, awki, K, okeish, gosh! in how many ways can you spell or tell someone that you're alright? this is no permutation question. i have noticed that depending on who i'm talking to, i get a different version of alright everytime, if not most of the time. anything else i'm missing?

damn't, what is with faded jeans?! eversince they became a fad all of a sudden about a few years ago, they've been all over the place.

gone are the days when i could easily walk into a store and buy a pair of jeans for myself at presto. but then again i fail to mention a large hip and waist size, with a little needed height. nonetheless, jeans shopping for me has never been the same. when i shop for a pair of jeans, its pretty simple: preferably not stretch, long pants, boot leg to flared (its a big feet thing), usually not to low cut ('coz low cut jeans are sized for the waist, but don't exctly reach it), and not faded. ok, not so simple after all.

but then again, why in the world would people find worn out, stone-, pebble-, or whatever magic stone-washed jeans better than jeans that you'll wear out anyway? is it simply an excuse so new jeans and old jeans look the same and everyone spends less?

i get the fad thing, but after six or so years and i still walk into stores with all the maong pants merchandise sprouting marks of clorox and dye on the thighs, knees, and behind. tsk!

now, embroidered jeans is something else entirely as much as beaded ones...

free samples! don't be caught dead sampling freebies at the grocery! *laughs out loud* *points to slef* yes! i am guilty of indulging in these small wonders found in small plastic cups if not on the end of a toothpick. what's a boring day at the grocery without some new variant of some seasoning, frozen meat, or flavor of a drink, new added ingredients to a chocolate bar... the list goes on.

but i was warned that its pretty much "un-cool" to be caught "free-sampling". why i ask? i really have no idea, but maybe it has something to do with the you-look-like-a-beggar thing some bitch posh people have their minds set to.

to that, i say neigh. now that's alot of crap. free sampling happens to be a very effective strategy for marketing and sales as much as it simple brings people over to the exhibit. i like taking in free samples, there's no harm in that. after all, the best things in life are free, or so they say.

a life without math. the last time i had a math class was in first year college, that's 2003 minus my computer science and statistics classes. since then, math has pretty much been out of my life. which i'm finding isnt pretty good at all.

math and i aren't exactly friends, i did get through it though - meaning i passed math in school well enough - but still math and i dont exacly have a future going. i did like geometry though, algebra was fine when sir itoralba came into the picture, and trigonomery... well... i hardly remember what a cosine is. now calculus was something i was never able to touch.

since the last time i needed to think about numbers, i've put math aside and left all the computing to everyone else if not a calculator. thing is, i've noticed i've become an obsolete counting machine myself, and find myself needing more fingers than toes. now really, that is not good.

resolution: compute more... and spend less... *laughs*

same shirt day. why is it that people find it so awkward to be wearing the same shirt? (does not include org shirts and the like, or planned circumstances) even i'd rather hide than to be caught dead in the same area with a person wearing the same shirt i'm wearing sometimes. what is with that? but then again, i'd laugh it off sometimes and find it amusing.

groupwork. i hate groupwork. i guess i mostly and always have. its something i've been ranting about since god knows when gradeshool until i graduated. i guess its probably because i get pissed of when i usually end up doing the tail or foot of the work: summing up crappy researches without sources and reports without much said. whoever said groupwork brings out skills like teamwork didn't hit it exactly right. however, it does bring out the need to tolerate and pass of what shit other people give you. tsk.. or maybe its because i'm too damn perfectionist. we all know that shouldn't be the case, but its not my fault i always want things done right.

tsk. then there's the obstacle that the group can't get together somewhere they can meet well... (see next)

conducive meeting places. these are surely places with enough light, a table to write, and enough seating for everyone to see, and not so loud so you could hear what's going on. certainly not at those restaurants with low lighting, or those rooms without tables. logistics people, or at least people who call meetings should rememeber this. so far, the conducive meeting place i've been around campus is Mcdo 2nd floor. any other suggestions?


writing and talking at the same time? why is it so difficult to write and talk at the same time? it's either you write, or talk, but to put them together is getting the less of one.


ah. tapos na ang usapan. why is it that when you're in a conversation with someone through SMS, and either of you reply with "ah" or "oh" it seems the conversation ends there. unless of course something else follows.


why is siomai cheap? at LB you can get 3 pieces of siomai at Papu's for P12, if you want rice with it, that'll be P16. at Lowata Loka at LB Square that meal would be P16 as well. at Tita's along Raymundo you'd get the 3 pieces of siomai with rice for P11, only the siomai is fried.

so, what makes siomai so cheap? maybe ground beef, egg, some extender, and seasonings wrapped in molo wrapper is pretty less costing after all. but then again, it takes more than money to come up with a great recipie that sells like hotcakes.


a drop by the dorm on a bad day, takes the pain away. that's exactly how i used to feel back then when we were all still students and most of the dormates whom i had lived with for a year were still here...

god, i miss those days, those opportunites. even if it wasn't such a bad day, being there always made me feel happy, and at home, never an awkward moment with friends you know that care, and no place has made me feel like that.


cheating gives you no sense of accomplishment. 'nuf said.


i miss you on vacation. when you're on vacation, the kind of vacation that spells "getaway" or "fun in the sun", or "field trip" for just a few days, do you honestly miss the people you leave behind? i don't think so.

i remember some... last year as i was packing for a school field trip, and before i left i told my mom that i would miss her. she hugged me, smiled and said in taglish, "no you won't, you'll be busy having fun." that pretty much summed it up. she was absolutely right.

although i would think of her sometimes, but yes, i was pretty much preoccupied. the thing is, she didn't blame me. and it felt good to know that she wanted me to have a good time.

so, when you're on vacation, its the people you leave that miss you...

translation: dami damihan mo na yang pasalubong pasalubong!! *laughs*


exercises in futility. when you say something is futile, it's simply a waste of your time. the classic example for me is getting emotional over something so trivial or important but eventually solution-able.

yes, i know i should do away with that. but there are times when i just can't help it, and i feel myself fume up and the high pressure shoots up rocket fast. the bad thing is that sometimes it feels good. it feels good to let it out, to argue that you're right, especially when you've felt the feelings for quite a time. but when the tide has passed, i realize that i've only caused myself pain and anger and cost myself tears and my steady and strong reputation.

i was told once to never let anyone see me sweat, my dad obviously, which is right sometimes, and very effective in cutting the costs over exercises in futility. although in a bottle pop way, its also bad to keep it all in to let it burst sometime out of the blue giving no one a clue (hey, that rhymes).

but i'm the sucker who usually gives in and shoots up if not bursts into tears. i hate that.


super cellphone. i'm not refering to the latest technology in mobile phones, or the 3G that has only recently been enabled by the brats of telcos un der an unaccessable price for a critical mass. i'm talking about when your mobile phone becomes your savior in the most important moments.

mostly times when you're bored, look pathetic enough waiting, or especially at times when you want to avoid someone. all you need to do is bring out your mobile phone, and presto! you look like you're answering a message or busy with a game, and for all people care, you're busy enough to mind the stares. pretty neat, huh? but this is no TV ad.

the cellular phone has allowed us to connect to people, but ironically it also provides us with the defensive mechanisms much like a wall to avoid communicaiton as well.